Jubilee's List
by RemedyChill
Summary: Long after Jubilee has submitted her personal list to Santa she has an idea to reward all the X-Baddies who havent been 'under foot' in over a year by trying to get them put on Santa's 'nice' list.


All characters mentioned in this story are the property of Marvel Comics with the exception of Santa who I believe is owned by Coca-Cola. His story is for entertainment purposes only and not for monetary gain.  
  
Happy Holidays!  
  
Okay Santa,  
  
I know you've already received my full color, cross-referenced, Christmas wish list (Which for your convenience I packaged on two self-extracting CD- ROM's).  
  
But this list isn't for me. In fact, it's not for the X-Men either.  
  
You see, it's kind of an idea I got from you.  
  
Enclosed please find a list of bad guys who have NOT fought with the X-Men this year. I know, it's a short list. But I figure that's good for me, as it means I've been fighting the good fight, and therefor it goes without saying that I've been good. Okay enough shameless plugging on my own behalf.  
  
But you see, this list is of BAD guys who haven't tried to mutate the world, enslave humanity, or kill the X-Men ALL YEAR LONG. And for some of them it's got to be a record.  
  
So, even though they're all bad guys, Maybe they've been as good as they can be?  
  
Well, if that's the case, and some of these baddies can make your 'Nice' list, I know you wont have any experience buying for them, so if you don't mind I thought I would make a few suggestions of things they might enjoy.  
  
Apocalypse - This guy could seriously use some Leonard Cohen albums. When Wolvie gets all depressed and possibly a little drunk, he likes to sit in the dark and listen to Leonard Cohen songs. I think if he didn't he might end up flipping out and trying to take over the world on occasion, so maybe they could help the big A out too. I know Apocalypse would like the Cohen song 'First we take Manhattan' and probably the whole album 'The Future'. It's just his style.  
  
Mr. Sinister - Maybe we could start with getting this guy a legal name change. Maybe something like Mr. Non-threatening-pacifist, or maybe Mr. Cuddly? And I bet if we could get him out of those metal pants and in to some cotton or silk boxers the absence of chafing alone would improve his temperament by leaps and bounds.  
  
Magneto - Okay, so he's in prison and not technically being good of his own accord. And he's Jewish, but it's hard to leave anyone out of Christmas. So maybe you should just leave him all the unwanted fruitcake you come across this year (I just know people stick you with that stuff instead of cookies and I'm sorry.) Plus, he's kind of an unwanted fruitcake himself from time to time and he might enjoy the irony.  
  
Omega Red - Again, since he's frozen in a block of ice, he's not technically being good on his own, but Bobby and I thought maybe you could stop off and dress him up a bit for Christmas and we could all call him 'Omega Red and Green'. We've got oodles of tinsel and streamers here at the mansion. You could pick them up as you're coming through and we've even got an extra plastic, flashing star for on the top of the tree that looks like it would fit right over the end of his metal 'whip-arm'. Just in case it was pointed up when he got frozen.  
  
Emma Frost - And again, the professor hired her, so she's not exactly just off being good, however we did think she deserved something special. Of course most of the items she wanted were either a bit kinky or disturbing in a kinky way and so we've elected to leave this one up to you, rather than ask for something naughty and negate the request from the get go.  
  
And of course there's Senator Kelly. Monet suggested him, and it has been one year and six days since he's made a nuisance of himself, so technically I guess he deserves it. We think he needs a puppy. Just not a mutant puppy.  
  
Unfortunately, most every other bad guy in this whole marvelous universe has been underfoot almost all year. But of course, this keeps you from getting too overworked, and you have to take care of yourself, because you're important to us.  
  
I'll leave cookies and Milk by the fireplace, and as always, Logan will leave a steak in the microwave and a beer in the refrigerator.  
  
Be careful flying out there this year. The Professors girlfriend, who rules the Shi-ar galactic empire, is staying with us for the holidays and the UFO traffic has been brutal.  
  
Love and Kisses,  
  
Jubilation Lee Graymalkin Lane 


End file.
